( to her benefit, the cabin has never looked so clean. somewhere between jake's spit-shine polish and adrian's manic sorting, not a single speck or crumb has had the bravery to dirty a corner — eradicated before it can even live long enough to call itself a fallen soldier. it's fucking mind-boggling — ani watches them zoom past each other, wide-eyed from the couch's plush cushions, with all the tarzan-brained awe of cavemen smacking rocks together. studying some insane, impossible phenomena she's stumbled on, with determination and dumb luck. just another win for human innovation. a miracle of domestic masculinity ani could almost mistake for divine intervention.
neanderthals discovered fire and warmth. ani's discoveries are obviously more advanced: the modern woman's solution to never having to lift a single fucking finger again. no more manicures sacrificed to suds and scrubbing. one small step for anora, one giant leap for women too pretty to waste on household labor.
on the downside: adrian's sixth sense for cockblocking is a goddamn war crime against her pussy — cruel, unusual, and probably in violation of at least five clauses found in the geneva convention. which brings her here: bartering for time with the only hobby adrian loves more than organizing the spice rack. desperate fucks call for desperate measures, apparently. )
adriannnnnnn koby and bob told me they wanna know more about that dice game for virgins (dungeons & dildos or whatever???) but they were too shy to ask you for a tutorial 🥺 i promised you would teach them
they said they want the FULL run-down the really really long one. no flashcard shit can you help them??? like right now they said they don't wanna learn how to play without you
( why are you texting me if we're in the same room ... adrian confirmed ani's little secret? meow. )
omg dude that's great!! i have to explain the rules to you and jake too anyway we can do a group facetime remember the pandemic when everyone was all like 'i haven't seen peeps in forever, lets pretend to enjoy group games so we have an excuse to get drunk at noon'? actually that never happened to me but it'll be like that!!!
( god. so this is it. in adrian chase, she's finally found the spiritual equivalent of a vibrator dying mid-buzz — the serial offender behind every single orgasm she's ever had sabotaged by inconvenient timing and thinner walls. netflix can stop asking why women kill — ani's officially cracked the case. )
lol
( — with homicidal levels of horniness darkening her heart. anyway: )
no that's ok you can't bring that dice and numbers shit up around jake he flunked out of sesame street math :( i don't want him to feel left out just cuz he can't outcount big bird & that count cunt you guys can have your fun tho 🫶
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neanderthals discovered fire and warmth. ani's discoveries are obviously more advanced: the modern woman's solution to never having to lift a single fucking finger again. no more manicures sacrificed to suds and scrubbing. one small step for anora, one giant leap for women too pretty to waste on household labor.
on the downside: adrian's sixth sense for cockblocking is a goddamn war crime against her pussy — cruel, unusual, and probably in violation of at least five clauses found in the geneva convention. which brings her here: bartering for time with the only hobby adrian loves more than organizing the spice rack. desperate fucks call for desperate measures, apparently. )
adriannnnnnn
koby and bob told me they wanna know more about that dice game for virgins (dungeons & dildos or whatever???)
but they were too shy to ask you for a tutorial 🥺
i promised you would teach them
they said they want the FULL run-down
the really really long one. no flashcard shit
can you help them???
like
right now
they said they don't wanna learn how to play without you
no subject
omg dude that's great!! i have to explain the rules to you and jake too anyway
we can do a group facetime
remember the pandemic when everyone was all like 'i haven't seen peeps in forever, lets pretend to enjoy group games so we have an excuse to get drunk at noon'?
actually that never happened to me but
it'll be like that!!!
no subject
lol
( — with homicidal levels of horniness darkening her heart. anyway: )
no that's ok
you can't bring that dice and numbers shit up around jake
he flunked out of sesame street math :(
i don't want him to feel left out just cuz he can't outcount big bird & that count cunt
you guys can have your fun tho 🫶