ic inbox.

[quizzes]

WELCOME TO THE SALTBURNT NETWORK

USERNAME:
24CARATLABUBU

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Comments

@TRICKY🦊

[endow]

[entirely, 100% taking advantage of him:]

hello adriannnn
can i count on you while i'm here? you said we were best friends right?

[quizzes]

( guy who is 100% happy to be taken advantage of )

yeko!! totes!!
what's up?

@TRICKY🦊

[endow]

i need you to do me a secret favor for secret best friends, adrian

[quizzes]

( some men have chronic yappitus..........and yet Friendship Must Prevail )

🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️
you want me to kill someone too?

( bad things to say during werewolf frankly )

@sriracha 🔒

[vdovy]

Labubu Adrian
We need to talk

[quizzes]

( omg a nickname........... yelena immediately top of the best friends charts. double platinum. )

labubu yelena!!
shoot. i am 100% here for you

@bob — 1/?

[sensive]

hey thanks for the post in the diamonds

[sensive]

i mean do not do that again
and maybe change your phone bg to like
a picture where i have all my clothes on

[sensive]

but i think that hawk guy was really into it
which is like the only good thing to happen all week

[sensive]

[ an hour later. ]

you don’t have to change your phone bg if you don’t want to
i don’t really care

[sensive]

[ late afternoon. ]

hey
are you mad at me

cause you can just tell me
if i did something
im not mad people know im strong because of you either

[sensive]

i don’t know if you’re mad or doing literally everyone’s laundry or whatever

just text me if you’re okay
i’m freaking out a little

[sensive]

okay now im freaking out a lot adrian

[sensive]

🧜?

done.

[sensive]

okay
um
im telling ani and yeko
so text me back before they go all scary on you

@TRICKY🦊

[endow]

i can't believe you did this to me

@koby

[kobes]

[cannot cannot canNOT believe he's doing this --]

Hi, Adrian. I hope you've recovered from dying.
I have a question for you.

[quizzes]

psh! dying can't keep a bad bitch down
ask away!! is it about dolphins? did you know they gave dudes on the titanic blowjobs

📦 delivery.

[powerhungry]

[ The morning before Adrian's first shift at the Hex Club, an envelope finds its way to his door. Inside is a gold pin in the shape of a hexagon, as well as a note: ]

Adrian,
Welcome to the Hex Club.
I look forward to working with you.
— Silco

@ 🦋

[haggle]

( to her benefit, the cabin has never looked so clean. somewhere between jake's spit-shine polish and adrian's manic sorting, not a single speck or crumb has had the bravery to dirty a corner — eradicated before it can even live long enough to call itself a fallen soldier. it's fucking mind-boggling — ani watches them zoom past each other, wide-eyed from the couch's plush cushions, with all the tarzan-brained awe of cavemen smacking rocks together. studying some insane, impossible phenomena she's stumbled on, with determination and dumb luck. just another win for human innovation. a miracle of domestic masculinity ani could almost mistake for divine intervention.

neanderthals discovered fire and warmth. ani's discoveries are obviously more advanced: the modern woman's solution to never having to lift a single fucking finger again. no more manicures sacrificed to suds and scrubbing. one small step for anora, one giant leap for women too pretty to waste on household labor.

on the downside: adrian's sixth sense for cockblocking is a goddamn war crime against her pussy — cruel, unusual, and probably in violation of at least five clauses found in the geneva convention. which brings her here: bartering for time with the only hobby adrian loves more than organizing the spice rack. desperate fucks call for desperate measures, apparently. )

adriannnnnnn
koby and bob told me they wanna know more about that dice game for virgins (dungeons & dildos or whatever???)
but they were too shy to ask you for a tutorial 🥺
i promised you would teach them

they said they want the FULL run-down
the really really long one. no flashcard shit
can you help them???
like
right now
they said they don't wanna learn how to play without you

[quizzes]

( why are you texting me if we're in the same room ... adrian confirmed ani's little secret? meow. )

omg dude that's great!! i have to explain the rules to you and jake too anyway
we can do a group facetime
remember the pandemic when everyone was all like 'i haven't seen peeps in forever, lets pretend to enjoy group games so we have an excuse to get drunk at noon'?
actually that never happened to me but
it'll be like that!!!

@barnes. nsfw picture

[restored]

[There's a picture sent, followed by-]

7
ain't making it to 8 without you

[quizzes]

you busted 7 TIMES?????????

( confused, scared, aroused )

dude congrats!! that's freako mode
you must be bricked up? congrats on that too!!

misfire – SPARKLY_BABY1999 (nsfw link)

[endow]

[attached: video.mp4]

eat me🥵

[quizzes]

( )

oh yeah? come bend over where i can put my mouth on you

@freakydeakywoofwoof

[littlepebble]

[ A picture ❤️] ]

is the camera working

[quizzes]

( is this the best day ever?)

it's working perfect
hey you've got great tits

( freakydeakywoofwoof?? )

ma'am? not to assume your pronouns

text - misfire???

[nishtha]

[ There's no message, it's just a 10 minute long video of Bob in Armand's bed, naked and fast asleep. It includes a slow pan down from his face -- lines of worry for once eased in peaceful slumber, all long lashes and rumpled curls -- to his chest as it rises and falls, and along his naked body, belly and soft dick and thighs and all the way to his feet, a strange and quiet and loving catalogue, then back up again.

Presumably, this wasn't intended for Adrian. Or maybe it was? Who's to say. ]

[quizzes]

( adrian watches several times. someone else might be unsettled by the strange video — adrian? is sort of relaxed by it, understands it in all the ways his brain has a few hooks loose and forgets to be normal, sometimes. bob is pretty while he sleeps. it doesn't register to adrian as a violation, because he's probably played this game before, while folding bob's laundry or cleaning up something or another in his room. just staring, like you stare at a puppy in sleep, just watching like — )

hey my favorite show's on!

( though, why he got a message about it is a pickle of a different kind. adrian, in his own mind, thinks he's done a pretty good job of pretending to be normal, mostly. who knows? )

text — un: @LITTLEPRINCE

[hymen]

[ after the disaster of this: ]

Hi. Bob’s roommate?
Thanks for the presents.

Can you check on Bob? He’s not acting strange, is he?

[quizzes]

( there are two wolves in you: one that is loyal to bob reynolds, and one that is loyal to ani mikheeva. therefore, )

hi dr dickwad!
merry christmas!!

( bob? is kind of always acting strange, in adrian's experience. he acts happy to see adrian. he smiles and laughs with him. they throw arms around each other like old buddies and then try to wrestle each other into submission (adrian tries to wrestle bob, who tolerates him like an overly enthusiastic dog). all things that are very strange. )

what'd you do?

( bob's not in his room. adrian steals one of his sweaters and goes to track him down — has anyone ever noted how difficult it is to track a slut down? he could be anywhere. embry would usually be square one, so onto square two: yelena? )